Life Chasing Littles

9 months spent anticipating the very moment you meet your little. The day of delivery you are full of so many emotions. Boom. Baby is here. It all happened so fast. You are now in recovery mode. Discharged from the hospital after 2 days. Thrown into a new life that you have to learn to navigate. Whether it’s your first baby or fourth. You are going to have to learn how to manage life with a newborn baby (again). Everything you planned before birth goes out the window.. Why? Let’s be honest; there is NO plan for life with a newborn. You just kind of wing it. And it’s scary.

This is postpartum.

The part of having a baby that you are least prepared for. You don’t think about how much your mental health can be affected when something so beautiful just happened. You brought a life into this world. A new soul. Yet; your emotions are taking control and it feels impossible to live in the moment. Not able to embrace the now.

This is postpartum.

Covered in baby spit up. Raw nipples. Engorged boobs. Stitches. Bleeding. Sore. No sleep. Am I enough? Constantly worried. Scared to be alone. Checking on baby every 5 seconds through the night. Breastfeeding. Researching formula. Is my baby eating enough? Dirty diapers. Pumping. Dishes. Laundry. No time to shower. Do my older kids know how much I love them? No time for sleep. Cooking. Cleaning. Does my partner know how much I miss him? Night sweats. Feeling alone.

This is postpartum.

Emotions. Hormones. Doubt. Fear. Anxiety. Baby blues. Tears. Mood swings.

This is postpartum.

You feel overwhelmed. Not sure how to navigate. You think you are failing and nothing is right. You feel so alone.. That’s the crazy part of it. Because Mama; you are doing it. You feel so small compared to everything around you. Consumed by this new life. But Mama; you are doing it.

This is postpartum.

Your body is still recovering. You jiggle more. You are still bloated. You don’t feel like yourself. Because you are not. Bouncing back doesn’t happen after giving birth. You will never get back to where you were before. Because that’s an old version of yourself. A past memory of you. When your baby was born so were you. A new you.

This is postpartum.

Your baby is growing. A routine is being created. Finally a sign of relief. I can do this. I am doing this.

This is my postpartum.

If you are feeling depressed, sad, unhappy.. Please talk to someone about it. Seek help. Tell your family. Talk to your doctor. You may feel alone but you are not. You do not have to suffer in silence. Advocate for yourself. Scream it outloud until you are heard. My DM’s are always open. You can reach out to me and I will listen. Trust me when I say it will get better. You will be ok.

Because Mama; you are enough.