parenting, Uncategorized

Mother of two

Becoming a Mom for the first time

Was I ready? No. I had no idea how to take care of a baby, I was 21 years old and could barely take care of myself. I was scared. I knew having a baby took a lot of patience and care. I was unprepared for the drastic change that was about to take place in my life. I wasn’t ready. You can read all the baby books in the world but I promise you that no book can teach you how to be a parent.

Little did I know that this “uh-oh” turned out to be one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me. On June 7th, 2014 I became a mother to a beautiful little girl and my life forever changed. All the things I thought I “knew” about being a mother became non existent because now I was living it. Being a mother is putting someone else before you at all times. Its losing sleep, skipping meals, and no showers. The amount of selflessness it takes to be a mother is astonishing and beautiful. You learn as you go and find what works best for you.

My life was hers, she took lead and I followed

I laid with her during naps and would often fall asleep together. I’d wake up to her little hands touching my face. We would play under the covers or sing songs and laugh. It would end in me covering her in kisses. I never knew what real love was until I became her mama. She has taught me far more than I could ever teach her in return. I got to spend the last five and a half years of my life watching my bestfriend grow into a sensitive, loving little girl.

And then my belly started to grow

I was worried. Not about losing sleep, changing diapers, or my house being dirty. I was worried about us, our relationship would lose that close bond because we are adding another to it. A strange piece of me felt like I was betraying her. The days leading up to delivery were very emotional for me. I kept thinking about how all the time I spent loving her would be split and she wouldn’t understand why mommy no longer has time to be there when she needs me.

Welcoming our newest little girl

I was so happy the second Audrey arrived. I couldn’t believe how perfect and little she was. My heart was full and my life felt complete. But somehow I still felt sad, even when Sage was right next to me I still missed her. Even though everything was perfect I knew that it would never be the same because I have a new tiny person to love and cherish just the way I did with Sage.

Transitioning is hard

Just as hard as I thought it would be if not harder. I was recovering from a c section, trying to breastfeed, and take care of a newborn. Right when baby Audrey would start nursing Sage would need me for something. And everytime I respond with “just a minute, I’m feeding your sister.” Its all new to us; this big change. Now Sage is starting to feel what I feared.

Weeks pass by

We are all still adjusting to being a family of four. Going places is now something I avoid because I just want the comfort of home and everything I need at grasp. Being out and about is no longer relaxed. As badly as Sage wants me to do our normal things together, I want it too. There is nothing more I want than to give her all of me. I just can’t because I have less hands, less time, and worst of all less patience.

But now Sage has a sibling

It’s crazy to think that I felt like I was taking something away from her. In reality I have given her something much more. She has a little sister now and that relationship alone is much deeper than I could have ever I imagined. Bringing home a newborn made it hard to see that eventually they would become bestfriends.

Her everything

I can see their bond already forming. Sage is completely in love with her baby sister. Just as it was part of my journey to have more children, it was part of hers to become a big sister. All that fear I once felt has gone away.

A mother of 2

As I am still getting use to being a mother of two, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Although I didn’t plan on this being my life God knew what he was doing. I was made for motherhood. Without them I am nothing.

Thank you for stopping by!

Much love,

Krissy

parenting, Uncategorized

4 Ways To Get Rid Of Mom Guilt

The thing about mom guilt is, well we all have it. Whether you are a young mom, single mom, working mom, stay at home mom, stepmom or whatever mom you are – we are all connected through the highs and lows of motherhood.

In reality a good mom has bad days and great days, normal days and overwhelming days, perfect days and trying days, supermom days and just being a mom days, a whole lot of love days and real crazy motherhood days.

I think this topic isn’t talked about as much as it is felt. At the end of each day I personally sit and reflect on all the ways I went wrong through my day as a mother. I let myself go down a rabbit hole of self doubt. I get so lost in these feelings that I forget all the beauty that also happened that day. All the laughs, smiles, and memories made together. So today; I want to reach out to all the moms out there who go through this and can’t seem to shake the feeling away. I am here to share with you 4 ways that help me lose the mom guilt that weighs me down at the end of my days.

1. No one can be a better mother for my children than I can

Say this to yourself out loud and feel how powerful this sentence sounds. This is very important to remind yourself when you are having major mom guilt. You and only you were made to mother your children. Nothing in the world can come close to the love and affection you provide for your babies. They count on you, confide in you, trust you more than anything on earth. Don’t take that away from yourself. You are exactly who your kids need.

2. I am an amazing mom, even as I work hard on becoming a better one

There are no rules to motherhood, you can be both a good mom and a flawed mom. Everyday you will learn something new about yourself and with that you apply it to becoming a better mom. Your kids don’t need a perfect mom but will appreciate a mom who strives to be a better one is some way. You are amazing even when you don’t feel it. Be gentle with yourself because you are doing the best you can.

3. The way I choose to parent is the best choice for my family

Remember when you found out you were pregnant and thought to yourself “how am I going to do this?” You did. Remember when you had a crying newborn and thought to yourself “how am I going to get through this?” You did. You made it through some of the toughest times as a parent and each time you thought you couldn’t do it but you did. You did this by choosing to parent how you felt is the best for your family. It doesn’t matter if its different from what you see others do, as long as you know that what you are doing will get you through. There are a million ways to be a good mom you are already making the best decisions for your family.

4. I forgive myself for my failures

This one is probably the toughest out of all the ways that help me ease mom guilt. Forgiving myself never comes easy because I feel so deeply that I have made too many mistakes as a mother. But that is wrong. Forgiving yourself is one of the greatest things you can do as a mother. Like I stated above; you are amazing WITH flaws. Once you are aware of your own flaws you can start to pick yourself up one piece at a time. Work on who you are and forgive yourself for anything you think you did “wrong.” Practice self care and know your worth. Don’t fall into a dark place over something that can easily be forgiven. Remember: little by little, a little becomes alot.

You will never have this day with your children again. Tomorrow they will be a little bit older than they were today. So while you are sitting there drowning in mom guilt try to talk yourself out of it by using some of the ways I shared. Take a deep breath, enjoy all the little things because today will be over before you know it. All your children really want is you.

You are mom enough.

Thank you for reading.

Much love,

Krissy.

parenting, Uncategorized

Open Letter To Moms

Being a Mom is the toughest job there is and it doesn’t come with instructions. So, its okay if you don’t have all the answers you’ll figure it out as you go (or at least you’ll try).

As a Mother you often hear “you’re not doing it right.” Whether this is said because you gave your little chocolate for breakfast or they stayed up past their “bedtime” the previous night. No matter the situation; it shouldn’t be said at all. Truthfully speaking there really is no specific way to “do it right” when it comes to Motherhood.

Hearing “you’re not doing it right” come from another Mother may make you feel like they could be right. You sit there and think of all the ways you “can” be a better Mother and start doubting your ability to manage your own littles. Its an awful feeling and that Mom who stated it should be ashamed. There is no way to define doing something right or wrong for your children. Motherhood should be done by what you feel is the best for you and your family.

To all of you Mamas, I see you struggling in the grocery store with your temper tantrum, fit throwing littles. Its tough to go unnoticed while your little is screaming because they would rather have those gummy bears in the cart instead of the strawberries (that you know they love). All the glares you receive from others who might be thinking “my kids know better than to behave in such manner.” Which by the way, congrats to you supermoms! I’m glad you have it all under control and your little is a perfect angel. But for us real Moms, it can be embarrassing. Yet somehow you will manage to continue on like the soldier you are carrying your bawling little through the rest of combat. I just want you to know that I understand what is happening because in fact I was you last week.

Motherhood comes in all different ways. Such as having a strict routine to having no routine at all. Singing ABC’s or putting on a little gangster rap to make you feel free for those short 3 minutes. You could be the mom who joins PTA or the mom who doesn’t. There are soccer moms, dance moms, and moms whos littles don’t do extra activities at all cause they aren’t interested or you just don’t have time. There is one thing we all have in common and that is – being a Mother is hard. All of the advice, books, and classes in the world would never be enough to prepare you for Motherhood.

So if you see another Mama struggling with a screaming little, shoot them a reassuring smile to let them know that it happens to best of us. If you accidentally left the extra change of clothes at home or forgot to bring some snacks because you left in a hurry. Just know you are not alone and that everything you are doing will always be what is best for you and your family.

Thanks for stopping by..

Much love,

Krissy

Seasons, Uncategorized

Why I Love Fall..

October is here (and has been for the past 2 weeks.. I know), which means that fall is in full swing. Which also means that it is the best season of the year!

Yes, other seasons are lovely and have special qualities that make them great as well. Winter brings Christmas, spring brings flowers, and summer means no school and vacation time. But there is no season like fall!

Here are all the reasons why fall is and always will be my favorite season of the year.

W E A T H E R

The weather that comes along with fall has to be the main reason why fall is my favorite. In the mornings the feeling of cold, crisp air hit your cheeks is so refreshing. Seeing all the leaves on the trees change colors and fall to the ground is a beautiful cycle. I prefer the cold cause its so easy to get warm and cozy. Perfect time to bust out all those oversize sweaters and your favorite leggings.

C U D D L I N G

Who doesn’t love to cuddle?! Whether your cozy-ing up next to your significant other or rounding up all your littles on the couch with a nice soft blanket; cuddling is one of the best ways to show affection and be close to those you love most! Make some cider, have some popcorn, and snuggle up real close while watching your favorite fall movie. Some perfect fall movies include: Hocus Pocus (our all time favorite), Beauty and the Beast, The nightmare before Christmas, and Pocahontas!

P U M P K I N S

This one speaks for itself I’m sure.

All things pumpkin when fall hits. Pumpkin pie, pumpkin spice latte, going to the pumpkin patch, even carving out a pumpkin just in time for Halloween! We love to see all the different types of pumpkins that Trader Joe’s puts out for fall. They are the perfect addition to any home decor you are planning.

F A M I L Y

I always love how fall brings families together. You make plans with family to take the littles to the pumpkin patch, apple picking, or figure out whos house you will gather at to take them trick or treating! No matter what I always find myself surrounded by family during fall. I think it may be because the end of the year is approaching and all of the big holidays are coming. Whatever it is though, I enjoy every second spent with family.

T H A N K S G I V I N G

Literally my all time favorite holiday of the year. I love gathering with our families and eating all the best home cooked meals that are prepped with love. It is such a joyous feeling to see everyone together laughing and making memories. This year, November will be extra special for us because we get to welcome our second little girl into the world. She will be here just in time and will add so much love to our Thanksgiving feast. I may also add that this year I happen to be having my golden birthday the day before Thanksgiving. Best time to be born. 🙂

I will forever love all things about fall…

What are some things that you love about fall?

Thanks for stopping by..

Much love,

Krissy!

Uncategorized

Parenthood

One of the toughest hoods you’ll ever go through.

This past Sunday we attended church. We try to make it every Sunday, but you know.. Life gets in the way. It was our first time attending in a couple weeks and the service spoke to me more this time than it usually does. You see, being pregnant takes a huge toll on a woman’s body. So what once was my normal is no longer existent. From cleaning, to being consistent with healthy meals, sleep, even attending church has become hard. My body this time around is restless and tired; things that seem easy to others are not so easy for me. With that being said one major thing I have been feeling is frustration. This frustration stems from feeling defeated in my daily routine. We all know as a parent frustration comes naturally of course. My frustration though, runs much deeper because of all my extra hormones that pregnancy has blessed me with.

At church the service was about “love.” All the aspects of love should be done with patience and kindness, it is not self-seeking nor driven by anger. Being a mother love comes naturally for your littles. Its a feeling you feel instantly and it never fades; only grows. Sometimes though, our littles like to test the limits of our patience. They do things that they know are going to get a reaction out of you. I’m not exactly sure why this is but it drives me crazy. My daughter Sage has a very stubborn personality and loves to be in charge of everything. I get it, you have your own voice so why not put it to use? I’m not against her having independence but sometimes she forgets that she is only five. This is where parenting becomes a challenge because she would rather listen to herself than her parents.

I often forget that that frustration can negatively affect the way you parent. I lose sight of what is and act out with a little anger and all my patience is gone. These past 8 months have been a struggle when it comes to being the best Mama I can be. The church service really put things into perspective for me and I have been trying to clear my head before reacting to things Sage says or does. So thank you God, for being the reminder that I truly needed in my life right now. Remember that no one is a perfect parent and all these feelings are normal to feel. Guilt can play a huge factor at the end of the day, just know that tomorrow is a new day for you to give your littles all the hugs and kisses that they deserve!

Love is kind. Love is patient. Love is pure.

Thanks for stopping by!

Much love,

Krissy

Uncategorized

Hospital Bag For Baby

One thing that I have been looking forward to this pregnancy is packing our diaper bag for the hospital! The fun of putting all the little outfits together and imagining how your fresh newborn baby will look in the clothes you have picked out for them. Its almost a bitter sweet moment for me as I sat and packed the hospital bag today. I kept thinking about how I will no longer be pregnant anymore and how I will miss my bump. Yes, having her here in my arms is much more anticipated but her wiggling around inside is such a sweet feeling. I know she is safe and protected in my belly!

Today I want to share all the items I am packing for our hospital stay. The first thing I want to rave about is this gorgeous diaper bag from Itzy Ritzy. It is not your average diaper bag. I am the type of Mama who will literally pack my entire house while on the go (tell me I’m not alone?!) this bag makes that easy with all the room it has for everything you need and more. It has many pockets, the inside is so deep, it comes with a changing pad and stroller straps that can be removed. The quality of it is AMAZING, I know that this will last for years to come. I love that its a backpack! This feature makes life easier for Moms and Dads to be hands free while on the go.

Next item is swaddles! Literally one of my favorite baby items. I have two swaddles packed, one is a solid pink while the other has a pattern of peaches. These swaddles are made by Copper Pearl and are a must for babies. They are soft, stretchy, cozy, and all the prints they come in are to die for! I also got a car-seat cover in the peach print to match. Another brand that I truly love is Aden + Anais swaddles. I have plenty of these handy at home as well.

Lets talk clothes; I have 3 long sleeved onsies, 2 gowns (amazing for those late night diaper changes), and of course her coming home outfit. With my first pregnancy I definitely over packed for my little. Of course I was a first time Mama and felt like I needed everything but this time around I am keeping it light and simple. Some other items I will be bringing are: the Haakaa silicone breast pump, this is perfect for catching all the breast milk that may leak while baby is nursing. A cocoon swaddle by Itzy Ritzy that also comes with an adorable announcement name card. I will have my own set of wipes just in case the hospital doesn’t provide them (usually they have diapers and wipes available), a small bottle of hand sanitizer for when big sister comes to visit, and of course our much loved Ryan & Rose pacifiers and cutie clips to match her outfits.

Now that I have her bag packed and ready I am going to start on mine and my partners bag! If you have any suggestions or if there is a holy grail that you want to share with me feel free to comment and let me know!

Thanks for stopping by.

Much love,

Krissy

Uncategorized

OH BABY!

Lets start by saying: I can’t believe I have 6 weeks remaining until my scheduled c-section. 6 short weeks until I am a Mama of not one but TWO beautiful little girls. How did I ever get so lucky?! This Saturday we got to celebrate the tiny life growing in me with family and friends. If I am being honest; I did have a chaotic shower (it rained, and I pretty much hosted it). All the details that go into prepping for a baby shower can be overwhelming, but I am so proud of myself for getting it done. I went for a simple shower and it turned out as well as I hoped. I am grateful for everyone who made it. All the decorations turned out nice, the cake was beautiful, and all the gifts for baby girl were lovely. Now that this part of my pregnancy has come and gone I feel like things are moving even faster than they were before. I have so much to do in what seems like such a short amount of time. Although I am still recovering from such and exhausting weekend I can’t help but find myself so excited for my family of 3 to grow.

….Thanks for stopping by!

Much love,

Krissy

Uncategorized

Through Her Eyes…

One thing about being a Mama that I truly enjoy is seeing life through my daughters point of view. No matter what we are doing; everything seems like such a big deal to her. Her reaction when she sees something for the first time is what I live for. The way she asks questions about things that intrigue her, seeing her hold conversations, laughing, enjoying life, is seriously the most rewarding part of being her Mom. Yet, nobody really prepares you for the way life becomes when you have a little to look after. That’s because its different for everyone. Some have daily routines, some live day to day going with the flow, and some (like me) take the chaos as it comes and wing it with what works for you. I’ve noticed lately that my patience is running a bit thin. Sure, I am 8 months pregnant and being moody comes along with it. No one said transitioning from one little to two would be a walk in the park. That doesn’t mean I am not going to try and perfect every little detail along the way… Today I learned that this might be what is causing me to lose my patience: PERFECTION. “It doesn’t exist,” so I’m told. I believe that it may not exist as a way of life but does exist inside my little. Obviously, this may be a biased opinion to some cause I am her Mother but that doesn’t change how I feel. From the moment I laid my eyes on her; I knew what “perfect” was. So, what I am here to remind myself today is that no matter how tough being a Mama can be all the struggle is worth it when I am with her. Seeing life through her eyes takes all my worries away. Don’t forget to stop and smell the roses.

Thanks for stopping by!

Much love,

Krissy

Uncategorized

All The Feels Of A Preggo Mama

Where do I begin? The fact that I am carrying, growing, and nurturing a tiny human inside me blows my mind. My body was made to create a life, my body was made to give birth, and my body was made to feed my littles. Pregnancy is such an incredible blessing, I couldn’t thank God enough for this amazing gift. When I say all these rewarding aspects of pregnancy are beautiful in every way that does not mean there aren’t some unpleasant moments that come along with it. For instance; some women get sick and can’t eat anything without running to the bathroom a few moments after. As for me, I got what some may call “lucky” because I have a ravenous hunger to eat ALL the time. Yes, that sounds fun right? My partner got an eating buddy, yay! But in reality I have no in-between, I am either starving or so full it hurts. Its a day to day struggle but I’ve learned to eat smaller portions to avoid being uncomfortable which leads me to my next topic; WEIGHT GAIN. Every woman, big or small, will gain weight during their pregnancy. Whether it be 10 pounds to 60 pounds, it happens. With my first pregnancy I gained 50+lbs (on top of being a plus size Mama) and was very unhappy with myself after I delivered my beautiful little girl. It took forever to get that control that I was missing, back. Once I finally got it I became preggo again! I am happy to say that with this pregnancy I have managed to keep my gain under control and I am very pleased with how I am carrying. Next, lets discuss all things that have to do with your energy. Everyday I find myself completely winded from doing simple house chores. Its come to the point where the dishwasher has become my bestie, making the beds is very unnecessary since we crawl back into them anyways, and laundry takes 5 -7 business days to get back into the drawers. Growing a human takes it all from you, so sorry if my house isn’t as clean as it once was. I promise that its only temporary and things will get back into routine as soon as I’m up to it! I just want to take the time to let all the women in the world know, YOU ARE AMAZING.

Thanks for stopping by!

Much love,Krissy