motherhood, parenting, Uncategorized

Plus Size And Pregnant

I have always wanted to love my body through any phase I go through. I have always desired to “look” a certain way in order to be loved by everyone surrounding me. I have always struggled with body dysmorphia since I can even remember.

I’m struggling to love my body as it changes.

I’m showing a lot faster this time around. I feel like I look huge all the time. I’m embarrassed of my growing belly.

This world can be a cruel place for an overweight person. You always feel like you don’t fit in (pun intended). Well for women who are plus size + pregnant it can be even harder. Everyone comments on how “big” you are “already” or make shitty comments like “are you sure there isn’t more than one baby in there?” NO KAREN. I’m just over here growing a whole ass human on top of having a little extra jiggle, is that OK with you??

It’s hard.

I keep saying how temporary this is and that I’ll get my body back soon. But how true is that statement? I don’t think I ever even got my body back since having my first baby. It changed. Grew and Stretched. The way I saw myself changed. And it hasn’t been the same ever since.

I find myself comparing my bump to others who are as far along as I am and it makes me sad that I don’t “look” like them. But the reality of it is that I look like ME. I look how I’m intended to look. Whether or not that’s gaining too much, not enough, bouncing back, not bouncing back.

My body will always be their safe place to hug, lay, and poke at. I grew them. I was meant for them as much as they are meant for me.

As I navigate this new territory I plan to embrace the growth and the change. As hard as it can be, this will be my last pregnancy. The last time I grow and nurture my offspring. Living in the moment from here on out is my ultimate goal.

I am beautiful.

I am strong.

I am enough.

I am a mother.

parenting

Baby M

Baby boy…

You are my first and my last all in one.

My first little boy.

Muddy clothes. Bugs. Trains. Climbing. Race cars.

My last pregnancy.

Growing. Nurturing. Belly kicks. Being your safe place.

Such a bitter sweet moment.

Right now I know your safe. Your favorite sound is my heartbeat.

Soon you will join us earthside.

You will meet your Daddy. Your big sisters.

And when that day comes, our life will feel complete.

Our family will be whole.

We will admire every sound and wiggle.

Watch you grow.

Love you with every ounce of our hearts.

We can’t wait to meet you baby M.

motherhood, parenting

Here We Grow Again…

Hiiiii & Welcome back to another awesome blog post from your favorite messy mama!

It’s been so long since I shared anything new on here with you guys. I figured what better way to catch you up on my life than through some words on my blog.

Let’s start by saying A LOOOOOT has changed. I believe my last post was about adjusting to life with two littles… well fast forward to 2021 & here we are expecting baby number three!

Yep. You read that right… T H R E E!

If I am being honest, this is as much as a surprise to us as it is to you! We always knew we wanted more kids but never knew exactly when. I think we both had different ideas of when we wanted to start trying for another baby… but God decided he had other plans in store for us! We are both very excited yet extremely nervous to add another to the mix. Once baby is born we will officially be out numbered, not going to lie though, we already feel like that LOL.

Baby M is due to arrive May 2022.

Going from 1 to 2 kids was extremely hard, the adjustment was intense for all of us. Sometimes I feel like Sage is still not even use to it. I have a few friends who have 3+ littles and when I ask them… “Was it hard going from 2 kids to 3??” Their response is always: “I’m not going to lie… YES!”

As much as I want all the little babies I’m fearful of not being able to be the best mother I can for each and every child. I fear that I will be so caught up in motherhood that I’ll forget to just live in the now and enjoy my babies while their small. I fear that I won’t be able to soak up every detail of each of their lives the way I was meant to. A part of me questions my ability on the daily. I get so intimidated at the thought that I won’t be sufficient enough for my littles.

But as this baby bean sprouts inside my belly, with all the hunger I feel (believe me when I say I’m forever hungry), the waves of nausea that come and go, all the heartburn, and emotions I feel.. God knew I was capable of being an amazing mama to my babies no matter the size of my fear. He knew that the good in me outweighs the bad, reassured me that through every storm in motherhood there is always a rainbow to follow. Our family was meant to grow at this time.

So here is to new adventures, new beginnings, new blessings, & new struggles. I’m ready to be tested to my limits and to LOVE a whole lot more. I can’t wait to share this journey with everyone. Stay tuned for more news on baby M.❤

Thanks for stopping by!

Much love,

Krissy