The thing about mom guilt is, well we all have it. Whether you are a young mom, single mom, working mom, stay at home mom, stepmom or whatever mom you are – we are all connected through the highs and lows of motherhood.
In reality a good mom has bad days and great days, normal days and overwhelming days, perfect days and trying days, supermom days and just being a mom days, a whole lot of love days and real crazy motherhood days.
I think this topic isn’t talked about as much as it is felt. At the end of each day I personally sit and reflect on all the ways I went wrong through my day as a mother. I let myself go down a rabbit hole of self doubt. I get so lost in these feelings that I forget all the beauty that also happened that day. All the laughs, smiles, and memories made together. So today; I want to reach out to all the moms out there who go through this and can’t seem to shake the feeling away. I am here to share with you 4 ways that help me lose the mom guilt that weighs me down at the end of my days.
1. Noone can be a better mother for my children than I can
Say this to yourself out loud and feel how powerful this sentence sounds. This is very important to remind yourself when you are having major mom guilt. You and onlyyou were made to mother your children. Nothing in the world can come close to the love and affection you provide for your babies. They count on you, confide in you, trust you more than anything on earth. Don’t take that away from yourself. You are exactly who your kids need.
2. I am an amazing mom, even as I work hard on becoming a better one
There are no rules to motherhood, you can be both a good mom and a flawed mom. Everyday you will learn something new about yourself and with that you apply it to becoming a better mom. Your kids don’t need a perfect mom but will appreciate a mom who strives to be a better one is some way. You are amazing even when you don’t feel it. Be gentle with yourself because you are doing the best you can.
3. The way I choose to parent is the best choice for myfamily
Remember when you found out you were pregnant and thought to yourself “how am I going to do this?” You did. Remember when you had a crying newborn and thought to yourself “how am I going to get through this?” You did. You made it through some of the toughest times as a parent and each time you thought you couldn’t do it but you did. You did this by choosing to parent how you felt is the best for your family. It doesn’t matter if its different from what you see others do, as long as you know that what you are doing will get you through. There are a million ways to be a good mom you are already making the best decisions for your family.
4. I forgive myself for my failures
This one is probably the toughest out of all the ways that help me ease mom guilt. Forgiving myself never comes easy because I feel so deeply that I have made too many mistakes as a mother. But that is wrong. Forgiving yourself is one of the greatest things you can do as a mother. Like I stated above; you are amazingWITHflaws. Once you are aware of your own flaws you can start to pick yourself up one piece at a time. Work on who you are and forgive yourself for anything you think you did “wrong.” Practice self care and know your worth. Don’t fall into a dark place over something that can easily be forgiven. Remember: little by little, a little becomes alot.
You will never have this day with your children again. Tomorrow they will be a little bit older than they were today. So while you are sitting there drowning in mom guilt try to talk yourself out of it by using some of the ways I shared. Take a deep breath, enjoy all the little things because today will be over before you know it. All your children really want is you.
Today I’m here to talk about all the things that I wish I knew before becoming a Mom. I narrowed it down to my top 5 reasons. It was tough because this list can go on and on forever but I managed to pick the ones that are most important to me. If you’re a Mama already you may relate, if not you might find yourself back here reading this post again and again!
1. Love was once just a word.
Sure, you love your parents. Your siblings, cousins, grandparents, and friends. They love you as well. The type of love I am talking about though, is something you never knew existed. Its a feeling that is rooted deep down into you the second you become a Mama. Thislove is emotional, its powerful, its breathtaking. At times its overwhelming because it radiates so vigorously you are not sure what to do with it. Your little has given you a new meaning of love, a love so real.
2. Timeflies by.
You find out your pregnant and share the good news with your significant other, family, and friends. Those 9 months come and go; before you know it you are giving birth to a beautiful little human you once nurtured inside you. After birth, you adjust to becoming a parent and healing you forget to stop and live in that moment with your newborn. Life moves quickly and before you can even blink your little baby is now a walking, talking, hurricane of joy. Take the time to stop whatever you are doing and embrace even the smallest moments with your littles as much as you can. Kiss, hug, laugh, make memories, because timedoesn’tstandstill.
3. The messcanwait.
This one ties in with #2. While you are busy cleaning up your “messy” house precious time with your little is ticking. No matter how many dishes you have sitting in the sink, how many loads of laundry are sitting clean in a pile somewhere, or vacuuming up all those crumbs that dropped on the floor; the messcanwait. I’m not saying to never clean, I’m simply stating that no matter what a mess will always be there but time spent hanging out as a family will fade. So put down that broom and take out a board game, make some popcorn and enjoy each other while you can.
4. Being a Mamacan be isolating.
All those amazing friends you once had; vanish. The universe starts weaving them out one by one until there are none left. For me, this was a blessing in disguise. Before becoming a Mama I had no control over who I was as a person and my choice of friends didn’t help. Once I had my daughter my “friends” would pop in here and there until I finally realized we live such different lives that I needed to move on. After all, I would rather spend my Friday nights eating ice cream, watching Disney movies with my new besties that will be by my side forever than go out with people who only care about a good time for themselves.
5. You will spend hours to get them to bed…
Only to find yourself missing them once they are asleep. Bedtime is every parents favorite part of the day. You finally have time to unwind from that long day at work, sit down with your partner, grab some wine, put on some Netflix and literally chill. Until one of you mentions that cute thing your little said or did earlier that day. That is when you get an urge of going into their room and waking them up with tons of kisses all over because you miss their little faces. At the end of the day all that you really want to do is be around your littles no matter how crazy they may drive you.
These are all things that I “wish” I knew before becoming a Mama but I have to be a little honest. Even if I happened to know these things it still would never be enough. No amount of advice could compare to the reality of being a Mama.