motherhood, parenting, Uncategorized

Plus Size And Pregnant

I have always wanted to love my body through any phase I go through. I have always desired to “look” a certain way in order to be loved by everyone surrounding me. I have always struggled with body dysmorphia since I can even remember.

I’m struggling to love my body as it changes.

I’m showing a lot faster this time around. I feel like I look huge all the time. I’m embarrassed of my growing belly.

This world can be a cruel place for an overweight person. You always feel like you don’t fit in (pun intended). Well for women who are plus size + pregnant it can be even harder. Everyone comments on how “big” you are “already” or make shitty comments like “are you sure there isn’t more than one baby in there?” NO KAREN. I’m just over here growing a whole ass human on top of having a little extra jiggle, is that OK with you??

It’s hard.

I keep saying how temporary this is and that I’ll get my body back soon. But how true is that statement? I don’t think I ever even got my body back since having my first baby. It changed. Grew and Stretched. The way I saw myself changed. And it hasn’t been the same ever since.

I find myself comparing my bump to others who are as far along as I am and it makes me sad that I don’t “look” like them. But the reality of it is that I look like ME. I look how I’m intended to look. Whether or not that’s gaining too much, not enough, bouncing back, not bouncing back.

My body will always be their safe place to hug, lay, and poke at. I grew them. I was meant for them as much as they are meant for me.

As I navigate this new territory I plan to embrace the growth and the change. As hard as it can be, this will be my last pregnancy. The last time I grow and nurture my offspring. Living in the moment from here on out is my ultimate goal.

I am beautiful.

I am strong.

I am enough.

I am a mother.

parenting

Baby M

Baby boy…

You are my first and my last all in one.

My first little boy.

Muddy clothes. Bugs. Trains. Climbing. Race cars.

My last pregnancy.

Growing. Nurturing. Belly kicks. Being your safe place.

Such a bitter sweet moment.

Right now I know your safe. Your favorite sound is my heartbeat.

Soon you will join us earthside.

You will meet your Daddy. Your big sisters.

And when that day comes, our life will feel complete.

Our family will be whole.

We will admire every sound and wiggle.

Watch you grow.

Love you with every ounce of our hearts.

We can’t wait to meet you baby M.

Uncategorized

All The Feels Of A Preggo Mama

Where do I begin? The fact that I am carrying, growing, and nurturing a tiny human inside me blows my mind. My body was made to create a life, my body was made to give birth, and my body was made to feed my littles. Pregnancy is such an incredible blessing, I couldn’t thank God enough for this amazing gift. When I say all these rewarding aspects of pregnancy are beautiful in every way that does not mean there aren’t some unpleasant moments that come along with it. For instance; some women get sick and can’t eat anything without running to the bathroom a few moments after. As for me, I got what some may call “lucky” because I have a ravenous hunger to eat ALL the time. Yes, that sounds fun right? My partner got an eating buddy, yay! But in reality I have no in-between, I am either starving or so full it hurts. Its a day to day struggle but I’ve learned to eat smaller portions to avoid being uncomfortable which leads me to my next topic; WEIGHT GAIN. Every woman, big or small, will gain weight during their pregnancy. Whether it be 10 pounds to 60 pounds, it happens. With my first pregnancy I gained 50+lbs (on top of being a plus size Mama) and was very unhappy with myself after I delivered my beautiful little girl. It took forever to get that control that I was missing, back. Once I finally got it I became preggo again! I am happy to say that with this pregnancy I have managed to keep my gain under control and I am very pleased with how I am carrying. Next, lets discuss all things that have to do with your energy. Everyday I find myself completely winded from doing simple house chores. Its come to the point where the dishwasher has become my bestie, making the beds is very unnecessary since we crawl back into them anyways, and laundry takes 5 -7 business days to get back into the drawers. Growing a human takes it all from you, so sorry if my house isn’t as clean as it once was. I promise that its only temporary and things will get back into routine as soon as I’m up to it! I just want to take the time to let all the women in the world know, YOU ARE AMAZING.

Thanks for stopping by!

Much love,Krissy